Willie Sutton
The Alberton Papers Vol. VI, #VII
By Dick Darne 5-6-08
The education of Me and cousin Freddie, ch. 4
After the two-finger earlock gently guided me to the Principal’s office, I was presented as a troublemaker, even though I was convinced that I was brightening up an otherwise dull day. Freeing people from their daily hum-drum existence. Maybe some sort of folk hero. Alas, after being given one last chance for the umpteenth time, I blew it by a string of daring escapes from the classrooms, this time without the help of Freddie and earning me the new monicker of "Willie Sutton. Now, you younger people might not know who Willie Sutton was, so I will explain. Willie was to bank robbers as the Mona Lisa is to art. (If you don’t know what the Mona Lisa is, consult an art expert). Willie, when asked why he robbed banks, replied: "because that’s where the money is." Willie also escaped from prison several times, only to rob another bank, get caught again and get sent back to the calaboose. Maybe he was best at getting caught.
Later in the spring, almost at the conclusion of the school year, I was sitting in class on the second floor of our huge old high school. Matter of fact, all my classes were on the second floor, to prevent escaping out the window. My reputation was suffering, the guys were hurling disparaging remarks like rapier thrusts. "They got your little a.. now!" "You’ll never get outa here!"
With all the bravado I could muster I retorted: "Oh yeah, see that tree limb out there, I’m going out the window, down the tree and outa here!"
All their words of encouragement terminated with the old standby: "I double dog dare you, you chicken!" this could not go unanswered. The window was on the way to the pencil sharpener, the teacher was oblivious to her environment, busy reading a romance novel or something, so after a few trips, I had the ventillator glass out, (you oldsters will know what that was) the window up and countdown about to begin. Only one small problem, looking out the window, I calculated the height above the ground to be several hundred feet at least and the limb at least thirty feet away. To the chorus of "chicken, barrrrk-barrrk, etc. honor and duty overcame fear. Also stupidity overcame good sense, so out the window, on the limb and down the tree, leaving a good bit of my own bark but regaining my good name. One glance back before the mad dash to freedom made it all worth it. Not so much the looks of admiration from my peers, but the look on the teacher’s face. No matter, thanks to the telephone, I was dead meat when I got home.
You young folks out there, please don’t try this, I was a trained professional. dd
By Dick Darne 5-6-08
The education of Me and cousin Freddie, ch. 4
After the two-finger earlock gently guided me to the Principal’s office, I was presented as a troublemaker, even though I was convinced that I was brightening up an otherwise dull day. Freeing people from their daily hum-drum existence. Maybe some sort of folk hero. Alas, after being given one last chance for the umpteenth time, I blew it by a string of daring escapes from the classrooms, this time without the help of Freddie and earning me the new monicker of "Willie Sutton. Now, you younger people might not know who Willie Sutton was, so I will explain. Willie was to bank robbers as the Mona Lisa is to art. (If you don’t know what the Mona Lisa is, consult an art expert). Willie, when asked why he robbed banks, replied: "because that’s where the money is." Willie also escaped from prison several times, only to rob another bank, get caught again and get sent back to the calaboose. Maybe he was best at getting caught.
Later in the spring, almost at the conclusion of the school year, I was sitting in class on the second floor of our huge old high school. Matter of fact, all my classes were on the second floor, to prevent escaping out the window. My reputation was suffering, the guys were hurling disparaging remarks like rapier thrusts. "They got your little a.. now!" "You’ll never get outa here!"
With all the bravado I could muster I retorted: "Oh yeah, see that tree limb out there, I’m going out the window, down the tree and outa here!"
All their words of encouragement terminated with the old standby: "I double dog dare you, you chicken!" this could not go unanswered. The window was on the way to the pencil sharpener, the teacher was oblivious to her environment, busy reading a romance novel or something, so after a few trips, I had the ventillator glass out, (you oldsters will know what that was) the window up and countdown about to begin. Only one small problem, looking out the window, I calculated the height above the ground to be several hundred feet at least and the limb at least thirty feet away. To the chorus of "chicken, barrrrk-barrrk, etc. honor and duty overcame fear. Also stupidity overcame good sense, so out the window, on the limb and down the tree, leaving a good bit of my own bark but regaining my good name. One glance back before the mad dash to freedom made it all worth it. Not so much the looks of admiration from my peers, but the look on the teacher’s face. No matter, thanks to the telephone, I was dead meat when I got home.
You young folks out there, please don’t try this, I was a trained professional. dd
posted by aldermandarne | 11:21 PM
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