The Alberton Papers #8
By Dick Darne 3-16-06
old dogs, junk cars and watermelon kool-aid. Not quite the same as Tom T. Hall’s song, but it’ll do. Dogs first. Judging by the number of dogs in town, there obviously is a lot of dog lovers who live here. Most are responsible, some are lacking and a few are totally oblivious to their dog’s shenanigans. Dogs do what dogs do. They eat, sleep, play and poop. If they do this somewhere besides their own yard, then it is a matter of manners, (the owner’s not the dog). Bad manners is not a capital offense, but it can result in one being vilified by his neighbors. Now three are all kinds of dogs, some dangerous, some harmless, size not being a major factor. I number among my friends, several huge, lovable klutzes. (We’re talking dogs here.) So, I guess we might conclude that not all alleged dog offenses are equal. Let’s move to junk cars for a moment.
A perceived "junk car offense" may be a real life threat to life, liberty or pursuit of happiness, but it could be just as easily an economic necessity, keeping a rig running to get to one’s job (or jobs). Mostly it’s somewhere in between. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Wht is the difference between an alleged ugly old junk car and an ugly old junk car with tags? Or trucks, (not covered under the "junk car laws"), tractors, old railroad stuff or little gnomes scattered all around a dirtless yard. Beauty or ugliness is in the eye of the beholder. We might also say that not all junk car offfenses are equal.
So, what to do? The "gestapo" method, where we have neighbors spying and informing on each other, the SS with spy cameras poking and prodding, night court, (few, if any convictions). Your tax dollars at work, while real criminals laugh. I think it’s safe to say this method is not wanted in Alberton. Somewhere along the line we lost our community based law enforcement. We could try this: first one on one, dog owner (pooper) and yard owner (poopee).
Poopee: "Your #$^^*$!@* dog pooped in my yard, clean it up you %$^^*@~#$**!"
Pooper: "You @$#&*% clean it up yourself, my dog didn’t do it, that %$#@&** other dog did it!"
Poopee: "You #$%^#@ clean it up now or slap leather you lilly livered *&%$#@!"
Pooper: "All right, you &^$#@*#..."
All right, I made that up. The point is, this is America, we all have the right to confront our accuser. If thine neighbor’s eyesore offends thee, ask him, sign the complaint, or grin and bear it. Just say NO to the gestapo.
For copies, comments or death threats: 722-4575 or aldermandarne@hotmail.com
This essay is intended to provoke thought, not much offense intended.
Other viewpoints invited. DD
By Dick Darne 3-16-06
old dogs, junk cars and watermelon kool-aid. Not quite the same as Tom T. Hall’s song, but it’ll do. Dogs first. Judging by the number of dogs in town, there obviously is a lot of dog lovers who live here. Most are responsible, some are lacking and a few are totally oblivious to their dog’s shenanigans. Dogs do what dogs do. They eat, sleep, play and poop. If they do this somewhere besides their own yard, then it is a matter of manners, (the owner’s not the dog). Bad manners is not a capital offense, but it can result in one being vilified by his neighbors. Now three are all kinds of dogs, some dangerous, some harmless, size not being a major factor. I number among my friends, several huge, lovable klutzes. (We’re talking dogs here.) So, I guess we might conclude that not all alleged dog offenses are equal. Let’s move to junk cars for a moment.
A perceived "junk car offense" may be a real life threat to life, liberty or pursuit of happiness, but it could be just as easily an economic necessity, keeping a rig running to get to one’s job (or jobs). Mostly it’s somewhere in between. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Wht is the difference between an alleged ugly old junk car and an ugly old junk car with tags? Or trucks, (not covered under the "junk car laws"), tractors, old railroad stuff or little gnomes scattered all around a dirtless yard. Beauty or ugliness is in the eye of the beholder. We might also say that not all junk car offfenses are equal.
So, what to do? The "gestapo" method, where we have neighbors spying and informing on each other, the SS with spy cameras poking and prodding, night court, (few, if any convictions). Your tax dollars at work, while real criminals laugh. I think it’s safe to say this method is not wanted in Alberton. Somewhere along the line we lost our community based law enforcement. We could try this: first one on one, dog owner (pooper) and yard owner (poopee).
Poopee: "Your #$^^*$!@* dog pooped in my yard, clean it up you %$^^*@~#$**!"
Pooper: "You @$#&*% clean it up yourself, my dog didn’t do it, that %$#@&** other dog did it!"
Poopee: "You #$%^#@ clean it up now or slap leather you lilly livered *&%$#@!"
Pooper: "All right, you &^$#@*#..."
All right, I made that up. The point is, this is America, we all have the right to confront our accuser. If thine neighbor’s eyesore offends thee, ask him, sign the complaint, or grin and bear it. Just say NO to the gestapo.
For copies, comments or death threats: 722-4575 or aldermandarne@hotmail.com
This essay is intended to provoke thought, not much offense intended.
Other viewpoints invited. DD
posted by aldermandarne | 1:04 PM
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