volvo driving, latte drinkers

The Alberton Papers, Vol. III, #2
By Dick Darne 11-6-06
Volvo driving, latte drinkers.
"Coffee falls into the stomach.....ideas start to move, things remembered arrive at full gallop....the shafts of wit start up like sharp-shooters, similes arise, the paper is covered with ink....." Honore de Balzac
I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, until now, nothing mattered except being called late to dinner. I recently was accused of being in a category of people who drive Volvos and drink lattes ( or is the plural latti?). I will now defend the first and refute the second.
1-a) new Volvos are predominant among young, upwardly mobile whatevers, or YUPPIES. Since neither I nor my Volvo are young, that ain’t me.
1-b) old Volvos are usually associated with old HIPPIES. I checked with and old hippie and having been a young hippie is not required to become an old hippie. While I think I would have made a good hippie, I have not taken the entrance exam and been inducted. I missed all the sex, drugs and rock & roll, but I take an occasional aspirin and listen to "the oldies" on the radio.
1-c) my Volvo was rescued from the crusher, $100 + a set of tires gets me 30 mpg.
1-d) the Swedes know how to build a car. Like Germans with good attitudes. Plus, all models will accommodate a set of skis and tow 3000 pounds. A veritable "Swedish Suburban"
so, I drive a Volvo.
2-a)real men don’t drink latte (or mocha or anything with a french name) proof: no recorded instance on record of John Wayne ever drinking anything but plain old coffee.
2-b)lattes, etc. taste terrible, but after paying an exorbitant price, no one will admit it.
2-c) while I have been present when some of my best friends have partaken of the yuppie-brew, I have remained faithful to the traditions of the Duke.
There you have it folks, I am an "old Volvo driving, plain old coffee drinking, curmudgeon". Your turn to buy next time. dd