education of me and cousin freddie, part 2
By Dick Darne 11-06-07
The education of me and Freddie, part 2
They were building a new post office and shopping center in town. Amid all the hustle-bustle we slipped in closer, past the "keep-out" signs. We got close enough to actually hear what the workers were saying.
"Hand me that *^&##!~`/< board!"
"You +^&&%*#@~@^^*, I said cut it 2 feet, 5 inches."
"No you didn’t, you &^^*)$@@~>ing idiot!"
Wow! We had never heard the English language used like that. It flowed off their tongues like water tumbling over a rippling waterfall,.there would be no further need for so-called formal education, English, grammar, sentence structure, this was the real thing, the mark of a real education. We settled in, trying to be invisible while we kept our mouths shut and our ears open. We decided to demonstrate our newfound knowledge at dinner that night. The grownups would see that we had become men, our older cousins would begin to give us the respect we surely deserved now and the younger kids would be completely awed.
It was now our turn at the dinner table, at the "home place", we ate in shifts, our place in the hierarchy was after the grownups including our older cousins and before the youngest of the kids. We would be the oldest at the table, and in our minds, the wisest. Aunt Eunice, as usual was in charge. After a bit of whispered discussion about who was to go first, we boldly went where no fools had gone before.
"Pass the *^^%)#?>%%#~* mashed potatoes!"
"How about some >>{+%&&^##~<"**% gravy to go with it?"
Jaws dropped among the adults. The little kids were smart enough to not laugh. I remember looking over at the wood cookstove and seeing a piece of bread slowly turning brown on the top. That’s what we were. Toast. At least toast, life as we had known it was about to cease. Aunt Eunice left the room. We both thought better than to remind her that cutting the switch was carpenter’s work. She returned with two huge chunks of Fels-Naptha soap, which was not known for it’s culinary properties, and a small army of grown-ups. At least she didn’t have a switch.
"You boys think you’re so smart, start chewing! Now!"
Like Cool Hand Luke, we weren’t broken, but we were badly bent.
May you never have to taste Fels-Naptha soap! Ever! dd
The education of me and Freddie, part 2
They were building a new post office and shopping center in town. Amid all the hustle-bustle we slipped in closer, past the "keep-out" signs. We got close enough to actually hear what the workers were saying.
"Hand me that *^&##!~`/< board!"
"You +^&&%*#@~@^^*, I said cut it 2 feet, 5 inches."
"No you didn’t, you &^^*)$@@~>ing idiot!"
Wow! We had never heard the English language used like that. It flowed off their tongues like water tumbling over a rippling waterfall,.there would be no further need for so-called formal education, English, grammar, sentence structure, this was the real thing, the mark of a real education. We settled in, trying to be invisible while we kept our mouths shut and our ears open. We decided to demonstrate our newfound knowledge at dinner that night. The grownups would see that we had become men, our older cousins would begin to give us the respect we surely deserved now and the younger kids would be completely awed.
It was now our turn at the dinner table, at the "home place", we ate in shifts, our place in the hierarchy was after the grownups including our older cousins and before the youngest of the kids. We would be the oldest at the table, and in our minds, the wisest. Aunt Eunice, as usual was in charge. After a bit of whispered discussion about who was to go first, we boldly went where no fools had gone before.
"Pass the *^^%)#?>%%#~* mashed potatoes!"
"How about some >>{+%&&^##~<"**% gravy to go with it?"
Jaws dropped among the adults. The little kids were smart enough to not laugh. I remember looking over at the wood cookstove and seeing a piece of bread slowly turning brown on the top. That’s what we were. Toast. At least toast, life as we had known it was about to cease. Aunt Eunice left the room. We both thought better than to remind her that cutting the switch was carpenter’s work. She returned with two huge chunks of Fels-Naptha soap, which was not known for it’s culinary properties, and a small army of grown-ups. At least she didn’t have a switch.
"You boys think you’re so smart, start chewing! Now!"
Like Cool Hand Luke, we weren’t broken, but we were badly bent.
May you never have to taste Fels-Naptha soap! Ever! dd
posted by aldermandarne | 10:26 PM
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