The Alberton Papers, Vol. IV, #VII
By Dick Darne 4-30-07
"Well, lets think about some lighter subjects for a while. Kinda give our brains a rest," said Elder.
"Yeah, like all those handy housekeeping and energy saving methods invented by ‘Old Dick’ after his month long ‘ batching’ ordeal," chuckled Johnny.
"You mean like his energy saving dishwashing method?" asked Bill.
"How’s that?" said Elder.
"Well, he figured that if he had the dog lick the plates clean it would save on soap and hot water," replied Bill.
"Not to mention the reduced load on the sewer system," added Todd.
"And the undying loyalty of the dog," said Johnny.
"He also saved a lot of unnecessary work by embracing the ‘two-pile’ laundry method,"said Bill. "He also figured that whites and colors can be safely washed together with no harm to the washing machine. He also discovered an inordinate amount of time is spent sorting , folding and putting away clothes that are just going to be taken out of the drawer, worn, laundered, sorted, folded and put away."
" That’s great that he was able to break that vicious cycle," observed Johnny. He should be some kind of ‘efficiency expert’, or something. At least get some kind of award."
" I heard he also proved, without a shadow of doubt, that houseplants do not have to be watered regularly," said Todd. "And it is possible to get the house cleaned up ‘just-in-time’ for the wife to arrive."
"We can credit Dick for the ‘don’t-make-the-bed-it’ll-only get messed-up-again’ theory," added Bill.
"It’s a good thing his wife didn’t get home a couple days early, or he’d be referred to in the past tense," laughed Elder. "I also heard he was going to have a big party and invite all his friends."
"Neither one showed up,"someone said, followed by laughter. Even the somber Padre, The Lady and Mother Nature were sniggering.
"It’s not nice to try and fool Mother Nature," she said. "But enough of this foolishment, there’s serious things to resolve. Stay versed." dd