the alberton papers

Name:
Location: alberton, mt., United States

I am a retired steamfitter and vocational instructor, Current member, alberton town council, having served two terms previously, several years ago. Resident of alberton almost 28 years. I am fiscally conservative and socially progressive, a free thinker and an advocate of good, responsive, honest government.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

absurd logic

The Alberton Papers, Vol. IV, #VI
By Dick Darne 4-24-07
"Well, did old ‘Crazy Dick’ survive his bike run last weekend?"asked Bill.
"He survived, but he got blown away. If it were a race, he would have finished last. Come to think of it he was definitely in last place," answered Johnny. He limped into Alberton about an hour behind the main pack. He had an ace in the hole though, he took a ‘nap-break’, woke up later, noticed a few drops of rain and called the second half due to rain."
"Yeah, when I saw him, he was mumbling something about ‘need a faster bike’ added Todd. "Should we get up a betting pool on what day he collapses?"
"Maybe a better one would be on how far he gets in that raggedy old ‘swedish surburban’ Volvo," said Johnny.
" ‘bout time to start thinking about more serious things," said Elder.
"Oh yes, have you all noticed, now that things are unraveling, some of the absurd logic coming from the ‘koolaid-heads’?" asked Todd.
"Sure have," said Bill. "After the latest massacre, the whackoes were quick to point out that guns don’t kill people, people kill people and we already have laws on the books to prevent things like this, we don’t need no more stinkin laws and you’ll pry my gun out of my cold dead hand"
"Those laws really worked this time," added Elder.
"You know, I’ve really thought about it and there are lots of people who have no business with a moderately sharp stick, much less a gun," said Johnny. "They give us responsible owners a bad name."
" Or look at health care, an idea whose time is here. They will point out the scandal at Walter Reed as an example of how government run healthcare does not work," added Bill.
"Or how they railed against ‘big-bad government and then elected idiots who made it bigger," said Todd.
"And made it worse than bad" added Elder. "If history is any guide, they will have sent themselves back to the wilderness for another 50 years."
"Repeal any law that interferes with the pursuit of profit, plunder and ill gotten gains, cut taxes for the rich, dismantle our industrial capacity, move it overseas, cut more taxes, bomb and invade anyone who doesn’t agree to cough up their resources,"said Johnny.
"And when confronted with the moral failings of their leaders, they quickly turn to the ‘blame Clinton’ mode," said Todd. "Old slick Willie sold us out with his Rethuglican-lite policies, like NAFTA, why the focus on his peccadilloes?"
"The usual ranting and raving of the right-wing noise machine," explained Elder. "They figure the best defense is offense, so on and on it goes. Once again, if history is a guide, they will self destruct. Eventually most people will see the truth."
A booming voice from the back said: "One of the wisest mortals I ever knew said something to that effect; "you can fool some of the people all the time..........."
Before he finished, everyone knew who and what he was talking about.
The lady was with him and added: "Keep brooding and stay cognizant"

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

honorable toil

The Alberton Papers, Vol. IV, #V
By Dick Darne 4-17-07
"I hear a lot of talk about a "living wage" these days," mused Johnny. "Just how would a "living wage" be defined."
"Well," replied Bill, "I busted my butt for too many years. Made good money, but figuring how hard it was, it should have been a lot more."
"Yes, but ever notice how many folks worked just as hard, if not harder at a lousy job for a whole lot less?" said Elder.
"I still remember the oath I took when I was sworn in at our Local Union. Part of it still stands out. ‘Extend a helping hand to all branches of honorable toil,’ said Todd. "Sometimes I’m almost ashamed of myself and my brothers. We secure the best wages and benefits for ourselves and never think about those who toil for a fraction of what we get."
"Let’s first think of the problem as not too much for us, but not enough for them," said Elder. "And let’s think about honorable toil. Toil as we know it is mostly stuff done that can’t be or won’t be done by the one needing it. Highly skilled workers command a good wage because just anybody is not able to do it."
"Lets not forget the time and effort in learning these skills," added Todd.
"That’s why doctors get more and specialists get even more," said Johnny.
"Now lets think about the toil of the ones that do jobs that no one will do,"
Said Elder. "These are the toils that keep the world running. The toils that enable the ones who do the toils that no one can do to command the better wages."
"I have noticed that if all the so called ‘non professional’ toilers at just about any school were to all cease their toil, all other operations would grind to a halt," said Bill.
"And if all the lowly bed pan toilers were to cease, would the doctors step up and empty them?" said Johnny.
"Heck no," replied Todd, "they’d just buck it down to the nurses"
"Which brings us to more questions,"said Elder. "All this is obviously honorable toil, but how about alleged professionals who will run a good company right into the ground, milk it like a cow, destroy lots of jobs with all the accompanying human misery and walk off with tens or even hundreds of millions of dollars in compensation?"
"I think that would be best described as ‘dishonorable toil’," answered Bill.
"Or ‘Captains of Industry’ according to the Wall Street Journal," added Todd. "By the way, where’s old Dick been lately."
"Off riding his bike, training for the big one. He’s been doing over thirty miles several times a week, but I heard he limped into Superior from Alberton, staggered into Rosies Café for nourishment and had to call in the ‘sag-wagon’ to come and get him," answered Johnny.
"Yeah, I saw his itinerary, first two days are fifty nine miles each and the next two are forty eight each. Starts tapering off after that. I heard the old fool is going to ride Missoula to Alberton and back next Saturday," added Bill.
"Since Dick’s off on his bike, I guess we’ll all have to remind everyone to keep cogitating and stay tuned," said Elder. "We’ll keep you posted."

Sunday, April 08, 2007

hooky

The Alberton Papers, Vol. IV, #IV
By Dick Darne 4-8-07
"I guess 1955 is long enough ago that we can use real names and places." I began. "It was a warm spring morning back in ‘good ole virginny.’ We had been picked up by the school bus at the elementary school for a 30 minute ride to the county high school. My cousin, Freddy and I had already decided to replace our stuffy, boring classrooms with a little outdoor adventure commonly known as ‘hooky.’ Simple enough, just get off the bus at the high school, turn right instead of left, a quick step into the bushes, around the back of the school, across old Lee highway, over to the road back to our town. Only one thing was missing, we needed to corrupt someone. All the while we were laying our plans, Lanny was listening. We knew he had never played hooky before, heck, he always did his homework. His hand was always raised, eager to supply the answer in class. He also never failed to alert the teacher if she forgot to give us our holiday weekend assignments. In short, he made us look bad. We just figured we made him look good. We worked on him the entire ride to the high school and finally got him to agree to join us.
"OK, you guys have talked me into it" He exclaimed, as we got off the bus and turned right.
"Left for school, right for the road to perdition." I was thinking as we sneaked through the woods, around the school, across the road and high adventure"
"I wonder if I should have let you all talk me into this" Lanny said as we crossed Lee highway. "We can go back now and we’ll only be a little late."
"Shaddup" said Freddy. "It’s too late now"
Lanny mumbled something. We reached our road, old Chain Bridge Road. "Takes us right home, if the Truant Officer doesn’t catch us" I said.
"I shouldn’t have done this" Lanny moaned.
As we settled in our best hitch-hiker’s pose, walking backwards, right arms pointing into the road and thumbs pointing in the desired direction, worse than meeting the truant lady was the horrifying sight of a black sedan with the big red dome on top. A cherry top. A cop. Going in the direction towards the school, but the traffic was coming to a halt. He would soon be stopped right next to us.
"Oh, no!" cried Lanny.
Freddie and I were much more experienced than Lanny. He looked as if he was about to surrender and throw himself at the mercy of the law. We acted quickly.
"Let’s get outa here" we hollered as we climbed the bank and into an over fallowed pasture, stopping behind a clump of bushes.
"He’s coming after us"
"Run"
"Oooo I never should have done this."
Across the field we did run like the wind, until we came to the woods. Diving into the foliage we peeked back toward the highway. No cop, but he appeared a little rotund, from our brief glimpse, and probably wasn’t about to chase us on foot.
"He’s gone for help. They’re gonna throw a dragnet around us. Hounds and all. I’m done for!" wailed Lanny.
"Shaddup!" Freddie and I exclaimed in unison.
The morning sun was warming things up by now. that included gnats, ticks, chiggers, spiders, snakes and all types of man eating creatures, but we couldn’t show ourselves yet. We decided to stay in the deep woods and circumvent the dragnet. We plodded on, finding an old abandoned railroad track leading to an old abandoned brewery. We could have had more fun except for the constant lament from Lanny.
"Oooooh why did I ever let you guys talk me into this. Oooooh my life is over."
We didn’t have the heart to tell him that we were dead meat the minute we didn’t show up in our first class. Or that the cop was probably on his way to the donut shop and there was no dragnet.
I haven’t heard from Lanny in almost 50 years, but I think he went on to become an activist, encouraging kids to not play hooky. Or to never listen to the likes of us. I do hope he had at least one more fun filled high adventure in his life.
Freddie went on to become a successful electrician, and is retired and lives near our ancestral home place in the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia.
I went on to become a two county famous author in beautiful downtown Alberton.
A final note: Kids, please don’t try this, we were highly trained professionals. When you’re older, you can call in sick at work.
Keep ideating. dd

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

the village

The Alberton Papers, Vol. IV, # III
By Dick Darne 4-3-07
"So, does it take a village to raise a child?" asked Johhny. "Some will say it’s strictly the job of the parents, and the State should stay out of it."
"There’s a big difference between ‘The State’, which could mean anything from the whole country , individual states, or even counties, as opposed to ‘a village’, which could mean from the neighborhood on up through a town or a small county." Answered Gno. "the State has taxing power and can supply funding, but probably will be short on actually caring at the individual level, whereas the village may not have much money, but can know each child individually from birth until he or she leaves the nest."
"Yeah, when I was a lad, you couldn’t get away with anything in the little town I grew up in." said Bill. "The news of your mischief usually beat you home."
"Don’t seem to work anymore, a lot of parents wont believe their ‘little darlings’ could do any wrong and you may be told to mind your own business." added Todd.
"Or even told that by the ‘little darlings’ themselves." said Bill.
"I don’t know about you younger guys, but us older boys like, Bill, Dick and myself remember the golden years of child rearing, first hand." said Gno.
"I do." I said. "You didn’t dare sass any elder, you addressed non- relatives as mister, miss or missus. Ms. hadn’t been invented yet, but ‘miz’ usually sufficed for any lady. Please and thank you were not optional and you were subject to correction by any adult and it would be reaffirmed by your own parents. If you got in trouble at school, the ‘village’ considered you guilty until proven innocent. A licking at school earned you another at home if you complained"
"It some of us a while to figure the power of the telephone, when we would play hooky from school, we spent the day in blissful ignorance, not realizing we were already caught because the school called home to check on us. I have to admit it was fun until time to face the music." Said Bill.
"just think of all the goody two shoes who missed out on all the fun and punishment" mused Gno.
"I remember talking a goody two shoes into playing hooky, his first and only time. Fifty some years ago."I reminisced. "Poor guy’s probably still agonizing over it. He could be somebody important . I’ll have to change names to protect the guilty." stay tuned for the next breathtaking episode. dd