the alberton papers

Name:
Location: alberton, mt., United States

I am a retired steamfitter and vocational instructor, Current member, alberton town council, having served two terms previously, several years ago. Resident of alberton almost 28 years. I am fiscally conservative and socially progressive, a free thinker and an advocate of good, responsive, honest government.

Monday, August 28, 2006

plunder

The Alberton Papers, Vol. II, # 12
By Dick Darne 8-28-06
"Civil society is hardly more than a scheme to guarantee the rich their plunder" J.J. Rousseau
Today’s lesson will be on plunder. Plunder as practiced in western civilization originated up in the far north, frozen reaches of Europe. After a few months of sitting around drinking whatever fermented beverage they had, they would decide to go plundering. Far to the south, on the sunny shores of the Mediterranean Sea, was everything they wouldn’t have to work for. Food, gorgeous babes, booze, tools, stuff. So in the long boats they would go, to the sunny shores, jump out, terrorize the populace (among the first terrorists), grab the plunder, burn or smash everything they couldn’t carry and head home. The peaceful women they carried off became wives, (a form of plunder in those times) and over time the plunderers became some of the most peaceful people on earth. Reduced to collecting stuff and giving out peace prizes. Now at the same time of this plundering, there were other societies who plundered, but Mr. Kahn, Atilla and others came after. Did they learn from the original plunderers? Some from the not-quite-as far north learned it well and carried it to the "new" world. So did some from the sunny shores. Today individual plundering is frowned on, unless you are a multi-national corporation, a big business tycoon or a politician. The rest of us average guys are reduced to just collecting stuff.
This stuff-plunder can be broken down into two categories: static and dynamic. Static is just accumulating and storing. (Gozinta far exceeds the gozouta). Can be hazardous to your health when your wife has had enough. Static is good in the sense that it is making most of us look good by comparison. Dynamic is constantly moving, changing ownership, moving to different locations. (gozinta is in approximate balance with gozouta) Can also be hazardous to your health if someone else’s wife has had enough of your transferring plunder to her husband. In a future article we will discuss various techniques of obtaining, storing and disguising your plunder.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

The Alberton Papers, Vol II, #11
By Dick Darne 8-22-06
"They took you away before you sang your song" Johnny Cash.
I just left a memorial service for one of Alberton’s own. It left me to ponder an age old question; what does one leave behind? One school of thought says that the only thing you’ll take is what you leave behind. Also a man may wonder if he will be thought of as a man well thought of.
One measure may be his generosity to his fellow man. How, even hearing of someone’s need in passing, he would lend a hand. An even greater measure may be his commitment to his family, even to the point of wholeheartedly adopting a "ready-made family". The first, I experienced first hand. The second was and is there for the whole world to see.
Over the years one may read stories and see movies of love stories, some happy and some sad. This was a real one.
Jimmy Mead, they took you away before you sang your song.
In my mind, you will always be a good man.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

The Alberton Papers Vol II, #10
By Dick Darne 8-2-06
Physical fitness
Remember the old saying: " you never miss the water ‘till the well runs dry" ? That holds true for health and fitness. Even working hard at physical labor can give you the wrong kind of exercise, or worse yet, wear out joints, causing pain and limited movement which leads to muscle weakness which leads to more pain and limited movement, leading to , well, you get the idea. Sometimes it can come on suddenly in the form of an auto-immune disorder, where your body eats its own joints, causing limited motion, weakness, etc. All of the above happened to me last year. I wound up in physical therapy at Frenchtown Physical Therapy where Kate Skinner put me on the road to recovery. I then went to Frenchtown Fitness Center, where I found all the state of the art, smarter than I am machines. I had weighed the thought of purchasing equipment for a home gym but I had noticed how many exercise machines wind up in the dump. If you pay, you are more likely to go regularly to the gym. Also this is a key entry, so you can go at any hour you feel like. I trained for the bike ride in this gym. It took three months but I am now making real progress, feeling better than I did long before I got sick. For all your physical fitness needs, you need only travel to Frenchtown, a suburb of beautiful downtown Alberton. Try them, you’ll like it, and maybe join me on the next bike ride. DD

The Alberton Papers, Vol II, # 9
By Dick Darne 8-1-06
The manly art of haircuts.
My thoughts on haircuts. Hair and whiskers won’t make you stronger, but they have wind resistance and they are hot. To prepare for the next bike ride, I went for the clean-shaven-burr-head style, which not any old barber can do. Which brings us to the obligatory trip down memory lane. Harken back to our earliest trip to the barber shop, where if your mother took you, the barber was given specific directions on how to give a "dorky" haircut. If the trip was with the old man, then you had begun your rites of manhood, and received the clippers, scissors, and the straight razor. I still remember the "wookity-wookity" sound of the razor stroking on the strop, the hot lather, the hot steamy towel, the slathering of witch- hazel, and best of all, the last clipping of any stragglers with the apron loosened, which guaranteed hair down the inside of your shirt. All to the discussion of politics, fishing, baseball or local gossip. These barber shops are mostly gone now, replaced by "stylists". Well, back to reality, you can come close right here in beautiful downtown alberton. Cuts on Parkway gave me an expertly done "burr- head", quickly and efficiently, however hair down the inside of your shirt must be an option, as I didn’t itch my way out the door. I received lots of compliments from the citizenry, but that could be because of how bad I looked before. No witch-hazel, but I was cautioned by the barber about sunburning my noggin. try this local business, you’ll be glad ya did.